Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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