I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
