Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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