i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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