Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
