I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
