i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
