I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.