Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
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We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
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We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.