Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize