You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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