getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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