Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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