when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize