all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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