That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize