sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
