Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
