And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
