Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
