I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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