she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
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