He uses pillows to masturbate.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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