Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
