woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
how does that bad decision feel?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
