i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
