Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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