i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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