At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
