you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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