sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize