i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
