D3 body, D1 cock
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
