I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
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i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
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Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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