what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
