i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
