Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i think i just lost a toe
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
