I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
