You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize