Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
