We should be called the Road Head Warriors
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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