I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
