now i know why i became what i already was.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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