just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
