your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
