I wish I could punch you in the face.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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