Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
