It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
vagina is talking i cant
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
