sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
