So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
