It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
