I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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