And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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