I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
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