I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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