This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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