Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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