Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
