I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
