Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
