She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
