He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
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I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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