You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize