my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize