Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
