3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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