I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
