Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
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Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Whats that? My new stripper name?
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So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....