Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.

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(904): I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever. http://tfl.nu/t49u

Replies (109) Good night (2484) Bad night (3961)
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(240): View more from Maryland

She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.

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(240): She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning. http://tfl.nu/tjxq

Replies (36) Good night (6943) Bad night (761)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.

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(404): Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon. http://tfl.nu/d58s

Replies (39) Good night (9296) Bad night (1366)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)

(708): View more from Illinois

WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE

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(612): she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :) (708): WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE http://tfl.nu/vm9y

Replies (9) Good night (6182) Bad night (1193)
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(217): View more from Illinois

do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?

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(217): do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream? http://tfl.nu/z60l

Replies (3) Good night (2306) Bad night (1056)
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(217): View more from Illinois

I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

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(217): I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high? http://tfl.nu/4i2m

Replies (23) Good night (2837) Bad night (699)
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(641): View more from Iowa

This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.

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(641): This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game. http://tfl.nu/44fx

Replies (13) Good night (1614) Bad night (785)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?

(1-609): View more from New Jersey

In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions

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(609): Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles? (1-609): In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions http://tfl.nu/67pw

Replies (2) Good night (1883) Bad night (572)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.

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(337): The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe. http://tfl.nu/7igq

Replies (11) Good night (3029) Bad night (693)
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(419): View more from Ohio

we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit

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(419): we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit http://tfl.nu/q27h

Replies (16) Good night (3001) Bad night (602)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.

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(321): Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever. http://tfl.nu/zuk0

Replies (12) Good night (2818) Bad night (574)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.

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(304): I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life. http://tfl.nu/wtpe

Replies (6) Good night (744) Bad night (1142)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.

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(503): Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush. http://tfl.nu/eadi

Replies (2) Good night (1003) Bad night (845)
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(775): View more from Nevada

Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?

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(775): Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night? http://tfl.nu/238u

Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (514)
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(760): View more from California

I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

(951): View more from California

Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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(760): I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire. (951): Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped http://tfl.nu/trsg

Replies (3) Good night (393) Bad night (543)

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