Texts From Last Night

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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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  (740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5
  Replies (39) Good night (8345) Bad night (910)
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  (914): View more from New York

  i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.

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  (914): i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar. http://tfl.nu/zfa3
  Replies (12) Good night (4749) Bad night (851)
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  (445): View more from Pennsylvania

  We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off

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  (445): We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off http://tfl.nu/9bxu
  Replies (53) Good night (15826) Bad night (1056)
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  (530): View more from California

  Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

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  (530): Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls. http://tfl.nu/qy86
  Replies (27) Good night (886) Bad night (7378)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer

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  (802): i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer http://tfl.nu/uupu
  Replies (16) Good night (5647) Bad night (1101)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight

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  (416): I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight http://tfl.nu/k1ij
  Replies (7) Good night (3809) Bad night (1422)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow

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  (801): that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow http://tfl.nu/5dzd
  Replies (11) Good night (1022) Bad night (4113)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.

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  (203): He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted. http://tfl.nu/pbp0
  Replies (10) Good night (2314) Bad night (685)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there

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  (570): I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there http://tfl.nu/1aoc
  Replies (5) Good night (2210) Bad night (718)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..

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  (248): Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced.. http://tfl.nu/34jd
  Replies (21) Good night (1326) Bad night (1967)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.

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  (316): You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times. http://tfl.nu/0lcm
  Replies (3) Good night (902) Bad night (595)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time

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  (302): Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time http://tfl.nu/xi83
  Replies (0) Good night (1127) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high

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  (314): I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high http://tfl.nu/02c4
  Replies (2) Good night (893) Bad night (344)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.

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  (330): You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic. http://tfl.nu/9e5o
  Replies (2) Good night (562) Bad night (398)
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  (925): View more from California

  Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then

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  (925): Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then http://tfl.nu/ta2x
  Replies (1) Good night (580) Bad night (255)

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