Texts From Last Night

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  (315): View more from New York

  Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.

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  (315): Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left. http://tfl.nu/77za
  Replies (63) Good night (10888) Bad night (1793)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle

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  (612): He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle http://tfl.nu/2q09
  Replies (13) Good night (1241) Bad night (3777)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format

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  (951): His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format http://tfl.nu/g7e8
  Replies (12) Good night (5823) Bad night (1062)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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  (907): We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller http://tfl.nu/mw3b
  Replies (6) Good night (1348) Bad night (2305)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.

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  (318): Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION. http://tfl.nu/w8c8
  Replies (17) Good night (2968) Bad night (977)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.

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  (765): Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100. http://tfl.nu/hfgw
  Replies (5) Good night (1587) Bad night (906)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?

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  (217): I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high? http://tfl.nu/4i2m
  Replies (23) Good night (2888) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.

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  (724): Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression. http://tfl.nu/uaau
  Replies (9) Good night (603) Bad night (1386)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa

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  (772): Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa http://tfl.nu/i2pg
  Replies (11) Good night (1694) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates

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  (717): I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates http://tfl.nu/o8si
  Replies (5) Good night (637) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.

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  (417): I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston. http://tfl.nu/atcw
  Replies (11) Good night (1721) Bad night (1238)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style

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  (586): If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style http://tfl.nu/h4ek
  Replies (4) Good night (609) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.

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  (513): My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck. http://tfl.nu/0395
  Replies (3) Good night (888) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.

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  (360): Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex. http://tfl.nu/1puf
  Replies (1) Good night (755) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys

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  (612): I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys http://tfl.nu/2gbb
  Replies (4) Good night (794) Bad night (321)

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