Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore

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(248): Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore http://tfl.nu/16rg

Replies (38) Good night (1580) Bad night (2377)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?

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(778): Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird? http://tfl.nu/7neo

Replies (26) Good night (4161) Bad night (946)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator

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(401): so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator http://tfl.nu/bvrd

Replies (42) Good night (861) Bad night (7304)
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(816): View more from Missouri

this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..

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(816): this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live.. http://tfl.nu/uh98

Replies (35) Good night (1736) Bad night (3266)
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(813): View more from Florida

watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...

(863): View more from Florida

Can I come live with you?

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(813): watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC... (863): Can I come live with you? http://tfl.nu/y56x

Replies (21) Good night (5653) Bad night (1184)
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(585): View more from New York

He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.

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(585): He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials. http://tfl.nu/lmhg

Replies (10) Good night (3984) Bad night (1378)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

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(401): The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer http://tfl.nu/75f3

Replies (11) Good night (3460) Bad night (1276)
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(914): View more from New York

We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.

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(914): We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial. http://tfl.nu/6p87

Replies (49) Good night (6579) Bad night (2957)
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(805): View more from California

I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.

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(805): I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form. http://tfl.nu/c7k9

Replies (9) Good night (4532) Bad night (1355)
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(907): View more from Alaska

We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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(907): We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller http://tfl.nu/mw3b

Replies (6) Good night (1289) Bad night (2218)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????

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(704): How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How???? http://tfl.nu/5jk2

Replies (20) Good night (2414) Bad night (923)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

I will rub McFlurries all over you.

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(612): That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved. (1-612): I will rub McFlurries all over you. http://tfl.nu/lnlf

Replies (8) Good night (1649) Bad night (655)
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(607): View more from New York

To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.

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(607): To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan. http://tfl.nu/t4hh

Replies (4) Good night (2135) Bad night (600)
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(330): View more from Ohio

Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.

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(330): Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee. http://tfl.nu/5wrf

Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (278)
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(408): View more from California

I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.

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(408): I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes. http://tfl.nu/i8od

Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (401)

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